Experimenting with Color!

When I wrote "வண்ணமில்லா வண்ணம்" I sort of anticipated a follow up!! I was smiling while replying sometimes and was not sometimes!! The comments fall into a huge range from are you trying to copy Steve Jobs who wears the same color to save time and energy spent on decision making, to you like black so what is the big deal about it, to how are you handling the heat in the summer, to giving me some nick names :-)

First of all, I am not copying any one and Steve Jobs is definitely not my idol/hero. My heroes wore / wear all colors!! My biggest hero, my dad, does not like black. I know he is accepting my vow only halfheartedly! The day when we went shopping for black outfits, he did not choose not even one though he stood by me the whole hour! Yes, I said hour! It is not saving time at all!! There is not much black collections in the stores! Not many people wear black after all! So searching for fitting, professional looking black outfits takes more time than my usual shopping with all colors! Of course, I would have loved to save time like Steve jobs did; but unfortunately that is not working! I usually buy for the entire year in one go so that I don’t have to spend time shopping often. But because of the limitation induced by the color choice, I will have to go more often than once a year, looks like. So, there is absolutely no gain in terms of time. I have my decision making techniques sort of set and hence there is no change in the amount of energy / time spent from that perspective.

Sure, black is one of my favourite colors. But, I do like other colors too. More importantly, as a person, I never liked to be  constrained in any ways but now I am! I never liked to give power to anyone or anything to stop me from doing anything I like! But now I can't wear something even if I like it! I do not like to be generalised but now I am… the lady in black, blacky, black beauty (depending on how close the other person is and ;-) also how they perceive me)! With yesterday, it is exactly three months  since I started this. I have got several nick names that generalise me already! The heat is increasing by the day and it is getting harder and harder. However, I have decided to continue till I see what I want.

Though the three months had been tough in many ways as mentioned above, there are several good insights, I wanted to share and hence the follow up :-) Some of my theories about life changed, challenged and  and some got confirmed!

Black is one of my favourite colors, so wearing it should ideally give me joy. But it did not! There is no excitement about the color anymore!! Sure, while shopping I surf for blacks but that is a different filter and not an immediate attraction to the outfit as it used to be. Interesting!  The next one is going to be a contradiction of the above statement. I believed that any suppression is dangerous and it will come out nastily. Interestingly, this belief changed almost completely. Since February, I have been suppressing my interests / desire to wear many of my clothes. But nothing happened and I do not seem to have any feelings for other colors anymore!! So, what decides the likes and dislikes? What is meant by suppression? How different it is from self-control? Is it the same as the difference between starving and fasting? 

Nonchalantly, I was able to gift all my other coloured clothes. Only a few items are retained for sentimental reasons. I guess, I will gain the will to gift even those few "important" ones! What gives the strength to gift the most loved / liked items to others? Donating all-new items is easier than donating items that you loved and used; there is an affinity towards them and there are stories behind most of them… I could withstand that pressure mostly - except for the select few. I am still wondering what gave me the strength to do this?

Another interesting observation is about who all observe. The common belief is women pay more attention to details and observe clothes more than men!! That belief was proven wrong and I do have data points observed over the last 90 days! My male friends and colleagues realised it quicker than my female friends and colleagues; they were able to recognize this in the first week itself - to be precise from the fourth day there were feedbacks, questions and remarks from men and only from the 9th day from women! So far, the number of remarks from men is 1.5 times higher than that  of women, and this is in spite of the fact that more housekeeping women became more friendly with me and they all remarked!! The number of remarks from men being high could be because of the higher number of men in the organization but quicker feedback from them still seems to be a valid observation to disprove the common belief! But there was no sadness in men (except my dad and one of my friends) when I said I will wear only black going forward; but invariably all women felt sad :-) interesting!! Other observation is about the assumptions people make! More women asked if it was a religious reason and assumed that I am praying for getting a child ;-) and more men assumed that I have become an atheist!! What a stark difference!

I may follow up again after a year or so and I hope that by then, this would have come to an end!